I hate you, I love you
by MeshackDiva
Summary: A/U Dean lives with two people. One shares his bed, the other he wishes he could make disappear. A one-shot of Dean's struggles of dealing with his anger while facing the man he hates.


Dean woke to clanking. Rolling over he didn't even have to feel for his partner to know he was no longer in the bed. With a groan the man pulls himself out of the comfort of the sheets. Glancing at the clock he sighs. 4:15 am. This is not going to be a good day.

Pulling on a pair of pajama pants, he makes his way towards the source of the loud noise. He is lead into the kitchen to see the man he lives with banging a pan on the counter. Piercing blue eyes watching him with glee as he crosses his arms.

"Good Morning!" He says with glee.

The voice leaving his lips sets a nerve off inside of Dean. He hates it. Its too high and holds a cold glee that is just unnatural. Not only is the voice annoying, but the fact that the banging has yet to stop has Dean grinding his teeth together.

"Do you really have to do that?" He huffs over the noise.

The blue eyed man stops, tilting his head to the side with smile. "I'm sorry. I've been away for a while, do you no longer like getting an early start to the day?"

"I have never liked getting up early, you know that." Dean grumbles.

He isn't sure how to go about things today. It is always different with him. Different with what moves or even words will set him off. He can be a little shit or turn around and become a terrifying force.

"Well, since you are up. I was thinking we could have a quick meal, then hit up the mall, go see a movie, and have a rave here tonight." The blue eyed man muses running a delicate hand over his too perfect hair.

Dean's eyes watch the movement. Watches him fix his hair, even without a mirror he seemed to know how to make it look perfect. He hates it. Hates how the jet black locks are smooth and in place.

He takes a moment to just analyze everything he hates about the man before him. The voice, the hair, even the way he holds himself. Its the posture of a cocky asshole who knows he can do whatever he wants without consequence. His facial expressions are too smirky, too eager for pain. Dean would give anything if he could get rid of this man. Just banish him from the world.

"Don't glare. You're going to give yourself wrinkles." The man mocks, his face contorting into a look of innocent worry.

Dean scoffs, going to the fridge. The sun might not be up yet, but he desperately needs a beer.

"What made you decide to come visit?" He asks as he cracks open a bottle.

"I wanted to have some fun. Is that such a bad thing?"

Dean wants to wipe the pout of the man's face with a swift punch, but he restrains himself. Only tightening his hold on his beer. The man notices and smirks.

"I see we are still working on our anger management." He chimes out, throwing the pan into the sink and making his way towards Dean.

Dean's jaw tightens as the man stops inches in front of him. A hand reaches out and rubs along his bare shoulder making him wish he had put a shirt on. His body shivers at the touch, but not in pleasure. He glares at the man.

"Lucifer. Back away." He growls.

Lucifer only smirks. "As you wish." He bows slightly and leaves the kitchen. Going to do God knows what.

Dean downs his beer in just a few gulps. Retrieving another one before going back to his room. He quickly grabs a shirt and pulls it on. Going to his phone he sends a quick S.O.S text to his brother. He has a feeling he is going to need his help today so he doesn't do anything stupid.

"Tell Sam to stop sleeping in my room when he stays over."

Dean looks up to see Lucifer leaning in his doorway. Anger settles in his gut.

"This room is off limits." Dean snarls, not even trying to hide his anger.

Lucifer holds his hands up in surrender. "My bad." He turns on his heels and disappears.

Dean takes an angry swig of his beer. He is going to need something stronger. Lucifer hasn't been here for more then an hour and he is already pushing boundaries. The room and touching is two main off limits. For Dean, they are the only thing he can't control his anger with. Those two things are only reserved for Cas.

Looking around the room Dean sighs. This is the only space that is solely his and Cas'. The wall is a simple shade of grey. An assortment of weapons and artifacts hang on display. Dean had always been a weapons buff and Cas had made it his mission to decorate the room to his liking, throwing in the artifacts he has stumbled across during his 'nerd' adventures.

Dean chuckles to himself. Cas was obsessed with lore of all kinds causing him to some times go on spontaneous adventures to explore locations he reads about. Dean has always called them his nerd adventures. The slight mocking always bringing an eye roll and a small smile from the one he loves.

His phone buzzes bringing him back to reality.

 **Sam:** On my way.

Thank fucking God for his brother. He has always had his back and he isn't going to let him down any time soon. Taking another sip from his beer he leaves his safe haven. He gets twenty minutes of peace as he pours a bowl of cereal and eats. The door bell ringing has him grabbing two beers out of the fridge.

He greets his brother by handing him a beer when he opens the door.

"That bad?" Sam asks following him into the house.

Dean only nods, heading to the living room. He finds Lucifer sprawled out on the arm chair playing on his gameboy. Dean flops down on the couch, Sam taking his place on the other end.

"Sam, long time no see. Couldn't stay away from me could you?" Lucifer doesn't even take his eyes off the screen of his gameboy as he speaks.

Sam grimaces and turns to his brother. "You know you can always come to my place."

"And leave me here all by my lonesome?" Lucifer interjects.

Sam sends a glare his way, but continues to ignore him the best he can.

Dean sighs. "I know. I just don't like leaving him here alone."

"Oh, Dean-o. It warms my heart to know you care about me."

"Lucifer, can I have a moment with my brother?" Sam snaps.

Lucifer's piercing blue eyes finally look up from his game. He regards the brothers lazily. "I was here first." Then he is back to playing his game.

Sam sighs. "Dean, kitchen. Please."

Dean groans but follows his brother into the kitchen. He finishes off his beer and goes to grab another.

"Why do you put up with this?" Sam asks.

"Because I have to." Dean cracks open his fourth beer of the morning, turning to his little brother.

"No you don't. Dean, this isn't healthy. Not for you, not for anyone."

Sighing Dean takes a sip of beer. "I love him."

"I know you love him, but sometimes love isn't enough. You have to do whats best for you. Leaving wouldn't be a bad thing." Sam tries to explain.

Dean shakes his head. "You don't get it. He saved me. All that time that you couldn't find me. When I was lost in my own rage, he brought me back. I was a monster, Sam. I couldn't control myself and he found me. Cas... Cas brought me out of that hell and showed me what it was to truly love. He is the reason I was able to come back to you. He is the reason I fight so hard to control my anger. He reminded me about you, about who I was. He helped show me who I want to be. I know I am hard to deal with, I know I still have issues to work through, but he hasn't left me. He has been by my side the whole time and I am not going to leave him for his issues."

Sam's jaw drops slightly. Dean had never told him openly how he and Cas had met. About how bad his anger issues had gotten. The story he had told Sam was he was in a kind of rehab the whole time dealing with his anger, not some loose canon running around.

"That was so touching." Lucifer gushes.

Dean's head snaps to the man standing all too close to him. How the fuck does he do that? Lucifer hands runs through Dean's hair. Without thinking Dean's hand snaps out, gripping the man's wrist a bit too tightly.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." He bites out.

A smile plays on Lucifer's lips. "But I just want my turn with you."

Dean's jaw tightens as he stares into the face of the man he hates. "You don't get a turn. You need to be locked back up in that cage of yours."

The man snatches his hand out of Dean's grip. "I am not going back there."

Dean's eyes narrow. "What do you mean."

A smile plays across the man's face that makes Dean think he is the devil himself. "I am going to enjoy my time here. I won't be going back to that cage for a very very long time."

Something ice cold grips Dean's heart at the words. Never before has Lucifer been this defiant. He would come, have his fun for a day or two at the most, then leave. He has never tried to stay longer or even acted like he wanted to.

"No." Dean breathes.

"No?" Lucifer scoffs. "I am tired of always being locked away. This is my life too you know and I plan on taking control. So you better buckle down and get use to it, Dean-o. I am here to stay."

Dean looks to Sam, desperate for help. There has to be something they can do.

Sam swallows. "Castiel Novak. Show yourself."

Dean's eyebrows shut up in question.

Sam shrugs. "I figured you wouldn't give up on him, no matter how hard I try to convince you. So I have been reading up on multiple personalty disorders. For some cases if you say the person's real name it will bring them to the surface."

Dean turns back to Lucifer, the man looking unraveled at the information.

"Castiel Novak." Sam tries again.

When there is no change Lucifer smiles. "Guess that trick doesn't work on me." He coos.

"Castiel Winchester." Dean speaks slowly.

Both men in the room turns to him. It was a moment that he and Cas were able to keep from Lucifer himself. Nothing fancy or elaborate, just a simple signing of papers. They hadn't ordered rings yet, they were saving up the money for that.

"Castiel Winchester. Show yourself." Dean speaks a little more desperately. "Castiel. Cas... come back to me. Please, come back to me. I need you, Cas."

Lucifer starts to seize slightly. His face contorting in pain as he falls forward. Instinct takes over and Dean catches him, not even thinking twice that its Lucifer he is helping. After what seems like hours, the man stills.

"Cas?" Dean whispers.

Blue eyes look up to meet his own green. "Dean."

Dean's whole body sages in relief at the deep rasp. The voice that belongs to his Castiel. Pulling the man into a tight hug Dean can't help but be grateful again for his brother.

"Please, Cas. Please don't leave me again." He begs for the promise that will never be able to be kept.

 _ **A/N:**_ **Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think. I got inspired to write this while watching Hell's Angel from season 11. I have also recently watched Split (Great movie by the way) and boom this story was born. This is my first supernatural fanfic, so I hope I was able to channel the characters with justice. One of the reasons I have avoided writing supernatural fanfic is because I have been scared I can't write the characters with justice. They are just so amazing. Sorry for my rambling I am very sleep deprived. Any way! Please review. YOLO. Until Next Time.**


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